


The White River

by meledea



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 13:49:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8626954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meledea/pseuds/meledea
Summary: During her attempt to leave the unfriendliness of Solitude behind her, Illdi finds herself stranded in Riverwood. Enter Camilla, town heartthrob who is done with men. I think we all know where this is going...





	

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to my beta [Eisoj5](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Eisoj5), who's the best!
> 
> note that this is set during the civil war storyline, with brief mentions of political leanings and references to in-game canon (depending how you play), but i took some creative liberties too. also i played around with camilla’s appearance in this, so she looks more like the bijin wives mod version but with slightly browner skin. enjoy!

“Halt!”

The carriage jerked to a stop and sent Illdi sliding across the bench with a soft cry, wet wood scraping the palm of her hand as she steadied herself. Needle hot pain shot up her arm as she lifted her hand up to inspect the wound. The raw scrape was deeper than expected on one side, and dirty from the wood; she didn’t doubt there were splinters in there. She winced. At least it wasn’t bleeding much, not yet anyway.

As her heart slowed its pounding she turned to look forward and saw the carriage driver giving her an apologetic look.

“You alright, lass?”

She nodded, cradling her hand close. “I’ll be fine, Thaer. What’s going on?” she asked, wrapping her cloak tighter around her body and shuffling forward again to peer through the misty drizzle at the figure who had stepped into the road ahead. A hold guard, that was all, and relief spread through her; not Thalmor, then.

“Is there a problem, guard?”

“Road’s closed ahead,” came the reply. Illdi couldn’t help but appreciate the guard’s strong and clear voice – she might have made a good bard, had she chosen it. “Storm’s caused a slip along the hill, cutting off access. Can’t let you go any further than Riverwood here, I’m afraid.”

Thaer grunted in annoyance. “Any idea how long till the road will be cleared?”

“No telling at this stage, citizen. More bad weather is said to be on the way. Might be a few days, might be a week, might be longer.”

“Well then,” Thaer turned around to Illdi, peering at her from under his hood. “With that flooding cutting off the main western access road, and Helgen still out of the question, I don’t expect you’ll be getting to Falkreath anytime soon. What do you want to do now, because I’ve a feeling you’re running out of gold to pay me too.”

He wasn’t wrong, unfortunately. Illdi frowned at her hands. Part of her still wished she’d never left Solitude, despite how much safer she was away from it. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, Thaer, for putting you through this, it’s all my fault.”

“Don’t go blaming the yourself for the weather, miss.” Illdi glanced up at the guard in surprise; the Redguard woman gave her a reassuring smile from inside her helmet. “Can only blame the weather for being what it is.”

“It’s the gods that made the weather,” Thaer gruffed, raindrops flicking from his moustache as he did. “And don’t go disrespecting them or we’ll get worse.”

The guardswoman just gave him a _look,_ then turned back to Illdi. “It’s a good hour back to Whiterun in this weather, miss. I suggest you ride out the storm at the Sleeping Giant Inn, here. Delphine might not be the friendliest of innkeepers but her place is well kept and affordable.”

Illdi glanced between Thaer and the guard. Thaer just shrugged at her. “It’s stay here or back at Whiterun for you, lass. I’ll be heading back to Whiterun either way, and if you aren’t coming along then I’ll be heading back to Solitude at dawn.”

“Oh.”

“Is what it is, lass. Need supplies myself, and somewhere to stable my horse.”

Illdi couldn’t argue that, and she knew she couldn’t pay him another trip anyway.  She was stranded for now, and her only choice was whether to be stranded back in Whiterun city or here in Riverwood. She peered through the rain at the small town, a little worried at the swollen river it sat by. Most houses seemed raised, though, built up along the slope to the left. Whiterun seemed infinitely more dry and safe in comparison, but it was also more expensive, and _merciful Divines_ she wanted out of this rain already. She was cold, and queasy, and bleeding now too, and now that slips were on her mind she couldn’t stop thinking about that narrow, windy hill road that just brought her up here and the possibility of a slip occurring on the way back. She’d made up her mind.

Grabbing her sack in her less injured hand and double-checking her purse she moved to get off the carriage. The guard was there immediately, offering a hand to help her down. “Don’t want you to slip,” she said, directing her to a grassy patch on the side of the road then grabbing her sack of belongings for her.

“Oh! I can get that.”

“Don’t be silly, miss, you’re hurt. It’s not far to the inn, it’s no trouble.” The guard gave her another kind smile; Illdi felt her cheeks flush a little.

“Oh. Well, ah. Thank you,” she stammered.

Thaer cleared his throat behind her and Illdi jumped, turning to face him. “Staying put, then?” She nodded. “If you insist. Hope you get to Falkreath eventually, lass.”

“Thank you for everything, Thaer.”

He grunted in response then clicked his tongue, redirecting the horse to a place it could turn around. She watched him go for a few moments, realising dizzily that with him gone no one around her knew who she was now, what she had been, that she could start over completely if she wanted to. But even through the dripping water and clack of cart wheels she could hear the mountains singing and she knew, _knew_ that she still wanted to sing with them.

“You coming inside, miss?” Illdi looked over to see the guard eyeing her with not a little worry, and rightly so. She was getting wetter every moment, and, _oh_ , her hand was looking worse too – blood was getting everywhere, and the scrape was hot and throbbing underneath. “Come on, I know someone who can fix you up. We’ll get you a room and drying off and I’ll go fetch her.”

Not long after Illdi found herself seated near the crackling long fire waiting a little less than patiently for this person the guard (who had introduced herself as Rahma, before heading back into the rain) had said could sort out her hand. Illdi really just wanted them to hurry up. She had a room sorted and would have hot water to clean with shortly, but she was also starving and exhausted and just wanted to lie down and get properly warm and dry.

She was seriously considering attempting to wash and bandage the hand herself and accept the risks that came with the lack of ointment when the door banged open and a figure in a long hooded cloak burst in from the rain. “By the Eight, will this rain ever stop!” came a woman’s voice, and the hood fell back with the same amount of aggressive drama as her entrance.

Illdi just _stared_ , open-mouthed. This woman was _beautiful_ , warm skin and a waterfall of shiny brown hair and full lips. She was looking around the inn, hands on hips, eyes skipping over the depressed bard in the corner dismissively and then landing on Illdi where she was half hidden behind a pillar, cradling her bloody hand. The woman gave a nod, whipped off her cloak and hung it by the door, and walked over towards Illdi while rummaging through the pouch at her side.

“You must be the one Rahma mentioned.” She sat down next to Illdi, but then gave her a confused look when Illdi didn’t respond at all, just unable to do anything but stare like a scared elk. “I must have the right person. Rahma said a traveller had an injured hand, and you’re definitely not from around here, and that’s definitely an injured hand.”

Illdi finally snapped out of her trance. “Rahma… yes, that’s me, I mean, no, I’m not Rahma but yes that’s who I spoke to…” The woman looked amused, and Illdi shook her head. “Sorry. I think… I didn’t expect… well, I don’t know who I expected. Another guard maybe? I’m sorry, I’m being rude.”

The woman just smiled, and Illdi couldn’t help but wonder what was in the air in this village that the women here all had such beautiful smiles.

“What was your name, stranger?”

“Illdi.”

“Well met, Illdi. My name is Camilla Valerius. And I’ve been sent to take care of this nasty scrape, here.” She gestured at Illdi’s hand and Illdi offered it to her gratefully. Camilla held it up to the light and inspected it for a few moments, gentle as she could be. “Looks like there’s a few splinters in there. Rahma said you scraped it on a carriage?” Illdi nodded. “I’ll need to get those out before we can clean the wound properly. It’s going to sting, I hope you’ve good pain tolerance.”

The grimace on Illdi’s face apparently gave her away, as Camilla squeezed her knee comfortingly. “Never mind if you don’t, I’ve been told I’m good at distracting people.”

Illdi definitely didn’t doubt that, heart already speeding up from that simple touch alone. She was suddenly painfully aware that half her clothes were soaked through and her white shift underneath her dress was probably somewhat transparent. The embarrassment almost overwhelmed the sudden chill; she shivered violently.

“You’re definitely not warm enough and I can’t have you shaking while I fix you up. Let’s get you closer to the fire for starters. Delphine! I need to borrow a blanket.” Camilla stood and started moving some chairs closer to the fireplace while the older woman threw some irritated comment back at her, but a warm blanket was wrapped around her shoulders anyway, so Illdi made sure to thank the innkeeper before she walked away.

In a matter of minutes Illdi was already feeling warmer and drier. Camilla had a pot of hot water next to her and was carefully pulling the splinters out with a small, thin, bendy piece of steel before flicking them in the fireplace. It wasn’t as painful as Illdi had expected, until it suddenly _was_.

Camilla looked apologetic at Illdi’s reflexive jerk and hiss. “Sorry. You’re doing well, though. So tell me about yourself. What brings you to our little village?”

“Ah!” Illdi winced again, but forced herself to answer. “Um. The road was blocked. I’m heading to Falkreath, actually.”

“Oh! Falkreath is lovely. What takes you there?”

 Illdi paused, trying to formulate an appropriate answer, the truth not appropriate to disclose to a anyone, really, let alone a complete stranger. Especially considering small towns like this ran on gossip, and the innkeeper’s husband looked like he specialised in trading it. A shiver ran through her again as her body adjusted to the heat, and it gave her an answer. “Tired of the cold North, mostly.” That wasn’t even a lie.

Camilla laughed, a melodic sound that filled the large room like light; the bard in the corner looked over longingly. “That I can understand. Falkreath is cold in its own way, though. Beautiful, but wet, and damp. I hope you knew that already.”

“I did. But it was that or Riften at this stage,” Illdi shrugged.

“Not Whiterun?”

She shook her head. “Too exposed.”

“Ah.”

“And you – you’re a healer? Alchemist?” Illdi asked, shifting the conversation away from herself.

“Me?” Camilla laughed again. “No. I’m a merchant. But you don’t live in the shadows of two different wars without picking up basic healing skills.”

“Two wars?” Illdi frowned. “You’re from Cyrodiil, then?”

“You mean that’s not obvious?” came a teasing reply.

Illdi moved gave a little shrug with one shoulder, avoiding jostling the careful attention the other woman gave her wound. “Just because you’re an Imperial by blood doesn’t mean you were born there. Anyone can call Skyrim home.”

“Ah,” Camilla hummed, lips quirking but voice lowering to a whisper. “You’re not a Stormcloak sympathiser, then. I confess, I am glad about that. I’ve had about enough of them and their intolerance.”

“You and me both.”

Camilla began to wash out the wound as gently as possible, the thumb of the hand cradling Illdi’s rubbing in circles against her inner wrist. While certain this was supposed to be a soothing gesture, it was driving her to distraction instead. Illdi could feel her heartbeat speeding up rapidly and was increasingly nervous that Camilla would feel it too. She was just barely fortunate enough that the blanket was adequately covering her breasts, really, as this close to the fire she didn’t think she could use the excuse of the cold to explain her painfully erect nipples; she knew from experience this bodice didn’t hide them as well as she would like.

Illdi would have to distract herself. She looked around the room, eyes hopefully not as wild as she felt, until she found a suitable topic.

“Why does that man keep staring at you?”

“Who, the bard?” Camilla made a derisive noise, flicking her head to get a stray hair out of her face while her hands were occupied. It wasn’t working very well, so Illdi used her spare hand to tuck the hair behind Camilla’s ear and then quietly berated herself for her boldness. A surprised look flitted across the woman’s face, but disappeared as she rolled her eyes and continued. “He’s just desperately in love with me.”

“’Just desperately,’” Illdi echoed, trying for amused and maybe failing a little, but fairly confident she could blame the strain in her voice on the sting of the poultice the other woman had just applied to the wound.

“Mmhmm. He was wooing me, a while back, not doing too badly either, but then he realised he had competition and, well,” Camilla wound the gauze around her hand slowly, looking at Illdi with exasperation. “Men do ugly things when they can’t get what they want. They both had the same _terrible_ idea, and when it blew up in their faces had the audacity to blame it on my indecision.”

“What did they do?”

“False love notes.”

“Mara’s mercy,” Illdi shook her head.

“So I cast them both off, wretched men. One of them headed off with the first adventurer that hired him but then came back a week later complaining loudly about being exploited, and this guy just spends his days staring forlornly at me and singing terrible love ballads.”

Illdi gave a soft laugh. “He’s… ah… well, he’s not the best bard I’ve heard, that’s for sure.” She curled her fingers experimentally, noting with satisfaction the bandage wasn’t too tight.

“Name me one bard that isn’t terrible. They all only seem to know five songs among them, apparently as unable to compose something new as they are to hold a tune. Still, I can’t be too fussy. If I want a family and don’t want to date a soldier, my options are limited, so best not to write all bards off.” With a gentle pat Camilla let go of her hand and wiped her hands on her apron. “There you go. Not immediately perfect but it will be fully healed by morning or your money back,” she winked at Illdi, but then saw the expression on her face. “What’s wrong? Is it the money? I was only jesting. I mean, I wasn’t, but it’s not on you, Rahma paid me already.”

“You… no. It’s… I just…” Illdi swallowed, more embarrassed than insulted, but somehow not sure how to say it.

_I’m a bard_.

“Nothing. It’s nothing. I’m just… tired. I should sleep. Thank you, Camilla.” At least in her gratitude she could feel sincere.

Camilla gave her an odd look but nodded. “Get some soup and rest up. I’ll stop by tomorrow around midday to check on the wound.”

Illdi nodded, watching Camilla gather her items back into her satchel, suddenly at a loss as to what to say. Once they had moved the chairs back and Camilla had emptied and returned the pot Illdi followed her to the door.

“It was lovely to meet you, Illdi,” Camilla said, breaking the awkward silence. She gave Illdi a smile so genuine she couldn’t help but return it, and just like that the strange tension was gone.

“And you, Camilla. I hope you dream of nice things. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.” It was hard to tell in the dim light by the door but it almost looked like Camilla was blushing beneath her hood before slipped out into the wet night.

As Illdi turned back she caught the bard watching the door with that same forlorn expression. Part of her wanted to laugh at little, but most of her felt a little sympathetic. After all, she was getting caught in those same rapids, and she’d barely been in Camilla’s presence for an hour. But her stomach grumbled and she welcomed the distraction and went to find out what food she could afford.

When she finally slid into the warm bed, clean and free of gnawing hunger, she thought about Camilla again – the softness of her skin and hair, the curve of her lips, the maddening circles rubbed into her wrist. Illdi shivered, but she was far from cold this time. She pressed her wrist to her lips lightly and just breathed, just let herself remember that touch for a while, before letting her imagination take over, and succumbing to the growing ache between her legs.

 

* * *

 

It was still raining the next day, making any exploration of the tiny village incredibly unappealing, but staying inside the inn was making a stroll in the rain seem an increasingly good idea after all.

It was rude, Illdi knew it, but she’d been listening to this for the past two hours and Divines know she couldn’t take it anymore. “You know, you’re performing that completely wrong.” There was no one else here listening other than herself and the innkeeper’s husband, anyway, so she didn’t feel overly bad interrupting him like that. Not even when the bard, Sven, gave her the most crushed look she’d ever seen on a grown man.

She sighed, pushing up from her seat and walking over. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude, but I can see you have passion for what you do, and as a bard myself, I know how embarrassing it can be to get these things wrong.”

“You’re a bard too?”

“Mmhmm. Studied at the College in Solitude the last few years.”

“Ah! I must have just missed you. I only had a short term there, myself. As much as I wanted to stay, I couldn’t afford to learn much and my mother was unwell.” He thumbed a chord on the lute dejectedly. “I long to go back.”

Illdi pursed her lips, a little irritated, but reminded herself that being generous was a good way to be liked, especially in small towns. It’s not like the city, where opinions were formed solely on how skilled you were compared to others. People had different values here.

“How about I run through it with you so you can see where you’re going wrong?” she offered.

He lit up immediately. “Would you? I would be so grateful!”

She gave him a small smile and led him over to sit down. “Could you play the tune for me, no singing?” He complied, and she listened and stopped him a few times, pointing out where the tune sounded a little off. Mostly he was playing it correctly, however, so she got him to sing unaccompanied.

At least, she consoled herself, _this_ time she got to try and fix the problems. It took a while, a few corrections in lyrics and key, but the improvements were clear. She was part way through explaining why she felt playing the tune note for note made it harder to perform the ballad itself when her demonstration was interrupted with a gust of cool air and a soft “ _Oh_ ” from the doorway.

Illdi turned to see Camilla staring at them, her eyes wide and cheeks reddening. She handed Sven back his lute carefully, standing to greet Camilla.

Camilla flinched a little. Illdi stayed put.

“Camilla,” Sven said irritably, a far cry from his lovelorn attitude from last night.

She narrowed her eyes at him, embarrassment seeming to dissipate. “I’m not here for you, Sven.” She closed the door behind her then gestured Illdi towards the hearth, dismissing him.

They sat next to each other on the warm stones and Camilla unwrapped the bandage, wiping off the excess liquid from the poultice to reveal the new skin beneath. “See? Good as new.” She tossed the ball of gauze and herbs in the fire then turned back to the palm, gently prodding the area where the wound had been. “Any lingering pain?”

“None,” Illdi replied, fighting a shiver. Her palm didn’t hurt but the new skin was sensitive, Camilla’s touch almost ticklish. The gentle press of fingers then became almost a caress, and Illdi found herself holding her breath.

She exhaled with Camilla’s long sigh.

“I’m so sorry,” Camilla murmured unhappily. “I was so rude last night, insulting your profession like that. I can’t even excuse myself for not knowing, because I never even asked you what you do, never gave you a chance to tell me. And even then it’s a horrible thing to say.”

Illdi closed her hands around Camilla’s trailing fingers. “Don’t worry. I forgive you.”

Camilla nodded, lips in a distracting pout.

“You were wrong about us though,” she added, catching Camilla’s regretful eyes. Illdi grinned at her. “Most bards only know three songs.”

Camilla blinked, then burst out laughing. Illdi wished she could listen to that laugh for the rest of her life.

When Camilla eventually sobered she shook her head gently. “You are so delightful, Illdi.”

Her heart fluttered in her chest and she barely managed composure. “I live to entertain.”

“Still.” Camilla gave her a regretful look. “I am so sorry.”

“And I still insist, no harm done.”

Illdi squeezed her hand and Camilla met her eyes, regarding her quietly a few moments. Then, as if suddenly realising how close they were, Camilla drew back with a soft smile. “If you insist. I have to get back to the Trader. By some miracle we got a small shipment in this morning, so we have an inventory to get through that will take most of today.” She withdrew her hand and brushed herself off, glancing up again with a tilt of her head. “I was wondering, however, if you would like to have lunch together tomorrow? I can bring the food, meet you here. If it’s nice we can sit by the river.”

“I’d like that.”

“Good. Wonderful.” Camilla stood up with a graceful swish of fabric. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“I look forward to it.”

  

* * *

 

Illdi took a deep breath and smiled brightly. The sun was out and warm on her skin, the air was clean and sweet, the sound of insects buzzing and birds chirping filled her ears. It alive in a way that the city never was, peaceful amongst all the movement. It was perfect.

“You’re looking in a better state today, miss,” a voice called out.

Blinking her eyes open Illdi looked down from the porch of the inn to see Rahma on the road below, grinning up at her. Illdi waved across the short distance. “I’m glad to see you again! You were so kind the other evening, helping me and arranging Camilla’s visit. I’m so grateful to you.”

Rahma gave a little bow of her head. “You’re welcome, miss. Only doing what anyone should do.”

“I appreciate it all the same.” Illdi moved down the steps to meet her on the road. “I only hope you didn’t have to work too long that night, the weather sounded like it only got worse.”

“I did, unfortunately, but luckily I wasn’t on shift yesterday so I could go home and let my wife fuss over me. And how about you, have you been comfortable here so far?”

“Definitely. You were right about this inn, I’m being well taken care of.” Illdi meant to say more, but she caught sight of Camilla down the road, carrying a sack in her arms as she yelled at someone inside the shop.

There was a chuckle and Illdi glanced over to see Rahma watching the same scene, shaking her head a little. “Those siblings are the one thing that ensures this town is never boring to patrol.”

“Do they fight a lot?”

“Every single day. He’s a patronising jerk, though, so her anger isn’t unreasonable.”

“How awful.” Illdi watched the argument continue, amused as Camilla put down the sack at one point and threw an apple back inside the building and followed it with a rude gesture. With that done she picked up the sack again and walked down the road, pausing just a moment when she saw her audience.

“Good morning Rahma, Illdi.” She carried the sack up the steps of the inn.

“Morning,” Rahma drawled back, smirk audible in her voice after Illdi stammered out a reply, distracted by the newly revealed strength in Camilla’s arms.

“Let me just drop this delivery off to Delphine, I’ll be right back,” she winked, moving the sack to one arm as she opened the door and disappeared inside.

Illdi could feel her cheeks going pink. She could also feel Rahma’s keen eyes on her, so turned her attention to a patch of flowers in the garden instead, avoiding the guard’s gaze. Camilla was back out the door within a minute, empty sack over her arm and a curious smile on her face as she came back down from the porch.

“What are my two favourite women talking about this fine day?”

“Nothing terribly interesting, really, before your morning performance started,” Rahma teased.

Camilla stuck out her tongue in retaliation. “Just doing my part to remind the women of Skyrim that my brother is a useless rag.” She glanced at Illdi. “Are we still on for lunch?”

Illdi nodded eagerly. “I was about to go for a wander, should I see if I can find a suitable spot to picnic?”

“That would be perfect! There is a nice spot past the wall over that I like, but if you find something else I’m sure that will be perfect too.”

“I hate to break it to you,” Rahma piped up. “But you’ll be hard pressed to find a grassy knoll anywhere around town that isn’t slick with mud still.”

Camilla looked almost heartbroken. “Oh, you’re right, of course. Well, I suppose… we could always eat on the porch here? Or on the balcony above the shop, actually, that has a fairly nice view!”

“Wherever you think would be best,” Illdi nodded; a view of the town sounded quite lovely.

“Alright, meet me at the shop then at midday.”

The sight of Camilla’s sunny smile and excited eyes, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, made Illdi’s stomach flip a little. “Midday,” she agreed.

She watched the shorter woman walk away for probably longer than was necessary, and when she turned back to Rahma the guard was giving her a knowing look. Illdi flushed pink again.

“She’s really something, isn’t she?” Illdi shrugged, and Rahma just laughed a little. “Don’t be embarrassed. Honestly, I’ve seen more people than I can remember fall in love with Camilla while I’ve been stationed here, and she barely gave any of them the time of day. _But_ , if I were to give you once important piece of information, it would be this – it took her a good week to warm up to me, and yet she just called _both_ of us her favourite women.”

“… What?”

Rahma just winked. “Duty calls. Don’t wander too far, okay miss? Best to stay within the walls.”

Illdi stared blankly ahead in surprise, thinking back to her previous brief interactions with Camilla. Did Rahma mean to imply that Camilla…? Huh. She’d wondered, of course, about those lingering touches and gazes, those delighted smiles and teasing remarks, but Illdi knew from experience that didn’t necessarily mean what she hoped. And, of course, they’d barely spent more than an hour in each other’s company so far; they were still basically strangers. Not to mention the fact that her stay here was only temporary.

But despite all those reasons, that didn’t stop the hope fluttering in Illdi’s chest.

 

* * *

 

“How long have you been here?” Illdi asked, nibbling at her bread and trying not to be too distracted by the view. It wasn’t easy, what with the sparkling river and snowy mountains in the distance, but it was easier than watching Camilla devour a sweet roll.

Camilla, who was currently humming contentedly and _Divines have mercy_ making scandalously loud wet noises as she licked the icing off her fingers. Illdi shifted a little uncomfortably and focused on the mill below.

“Around five years, now. My brother was very fortunate to get this building when he did, back some fifteen years ago. I never intended on following him to Skyrim, but things got bad back home, and it seemed like a good place for a fresh start.” She sighed. “Didn’t quite get the peace I wanted, though. Another war, and Lucan and I are always arguing. Honestly I’ve been more stressed recently than I ever was before.”

“Why do you argue so much, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Differences of opinion on how to run the store. He’s content keeping the business small and local, I think we should branch out and create a customer base outside of the village.” Camilla shrugged, wiping her hand on a cloth. “I can understand not wanting to _rely_ on outsider trade, but we’re on a main route between major holds and get plenty of thoroughfare, especially with Helgen being… well.” She shook her head sadly. “Divines rest their souls.”

“The business does well off the town alone?”

“That’s his main argument, but I think he keeps forgetting that some of our major trade comes from hunters and passing adventurers and the like who aren’t citizens of the town at all. He has no problem taking advantage of them when the opportunity presents itself, but if there’s one thing that Riverwood prides itself on it’s self-sufficiency, and he’s been here long enough that he has the same mindset. So he calls all my ideas too fanciful before I can even get them out, as if I’m still fresh off the carriage from Imperial City and stuck in that mindset.”

“Men aren’t known for their willingness to listen or change.”

Camilla laughed. “Isn’t that the truth. Still, I’m not backing down, and he’s starting to see that. I think I’ll get through to him eventually. Anyway, enough about me, tell me about yourself – I know you’re headed to Falkreath and that you’re a bard but that’s about all I know!”

Even though she knew this was coming, Illdi wasn’t entirely prepared for it. The possibility of making something up, of dismissing her past and starting over completely was tempting, but just as unrealistic – short of some dark magic she couldn’t figure out how she could suddenly reset her entire life, especially when she hadn’t a clue who she might want to be in a new one. And _especially_ when the world around her still made her long to sing. Really, deep down, she knew she still wanted to be a bard. Which meant owning her past, no matter how difficult that was.

She took a swig of wine, steeling herself.

“I’m from Solitude, originally,” Illdi began, forcing herself to look at the other woman as she talked. It would be better, if also more painful, if she saw signs of Camilla taking the information badly. “I was at the Bard’s College, these past few years.”

“Ah,” Camilla nodded, a smirk on her face. “That would probably explain why you were compelled to help out Sven.”

Illdi wrinkled her nose. “He was doing it so wrong!”

“You did the entirety of Riverwood a favor, believe me,” Camilla giggled. “I swear Orgnar has gone voluntarily half deaf.”

“I wouldn’t blame him.”

“So, the capital city, huh? I hear it’s beautiful, if heavy with military presence. What made you leave?”

“A number of things,” Illdi shrugged. “The cold, for one. It’s not quite the frozen North, but that sea wind is far from balmy, and the College was never quite warm enough inside to counteract it. I began to wonder if I’d ever feel warm again.”

“Are you not from Solitude originally?”

“No. No, but I can’t go back to… not anymore.”

Camilla’s brow furrowed a little but she didn’t pry. “Were there other major contributing factors in leaving, or is the cold the only one that counts?”

Illdi gave the other woman a little smile at that – most people wouldn’t be so generous offer a similar exit to a conversation. “No. The main contributing factor is more that no one liked me.”

“What!?” Camilla looked scandalised. “That can’t be true! How can _anyone_ not like you?”

“It was in the College, mostly, but… the people in that city tend to be more elitist than others. If you want to fit in you have to be dressed a certain way, speak a certain way, have the right connections, be among the best in your field… If someone is nice to you it’s either for status or they’re selling something; everyone wants a piece of someone else for their own gain.” She looked across the river again. “It’s a beautiful city, but it’s just… poisonous.”

“I know from experience that big cities can be somewhat shallow, but this is mad! What’s wrong with the way you look? And what do you mean, ‘among the best’, are you telling me that they considered you untalented?!”

Illdi gave a bitter laugh. “One thing you should know about bards is they all hate each other and would knock each other down in a heartbeat for greater success. Dean Pantea was very vocal in her disdain of me, always played favourites. My own tutor, Dean Inge, was always very hard on me, and for the longest time I thought that meant she thought I had the most potential, but towards the end… well, it got hard to tell. Even when I got the engagement at the Thalmor Embassy all that I experienced was jealousy.”

“Thalmor Embassy,” Camilla echoed, seeming a little alarmed.

Grimacing, Illdi gave a reluctant nod. “It wasn’t an engagement I enjoyed, I was just so desperate to prove my worth. But I only worked there twice, anyway. Once as a test run, and then the second time was at this, um, this big party, all these important people, and—” her voice cracked. “And then… it all… There was, um...”

“The massacre. You were there.”

Illdi nodded, all the chaos and fighting and death still fresh in her mind. Camilla reached for her.

“But I heard all about that, everyone did. That wasn’t your fault, Illdi.”

“I know. But there’s something else, something worse.” Illdi swallowed hard. “There was this bard… When I first arrived, I kept telling myself I was overreacting, that she didn’t hate me as much as it seemed, that it was just simple rivalry, but then I overheard… I overheard her saying after the Embassy massacre that it was a shame I hadn’t been killed too.”

The shock and outrage on Camilla’s face was appreciated, but Illdi wasn’t finished. Distantly she knew that if she wanted to leave this part of her life behind she _should_ stop here, but this was the first time she’d ever spoken about it to anyone else and she just _couldn’t stop_.

“I was so frightened for my life after that the only thing I felt I could reasonably do was retaliate.” She took a deep breath, watching Camilla carefully. “I confronted her, told her to her face that I hoped some Daedra would curse her voice, then spiked her favourite drink so her voice was ruined for a few days and to make her fear for a moment that it had happened. And it hit me, that night, what I…” she choked a little, voice thick. “What I had done, what I was _becoming_ , and I couldn’t let… I had to get _out_.”

Illdi hadn’t been able to stop the tears coming but she wished she had. She felt like a fraud. And Camilla… she looked devastated. _Horrified._ Illdi felt sick suddenly.

_I deserve that_.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, unable to look at Camilla anymore. “I’m only telling you this because I need you to know that I’m not the good person you think I am. The poison in that city, in that _College_ , I let that poison into my veins and I take responsibility for that. I’m not proud of it at all. I left before it could destroy me forever, but it already took some of me. There’s some of that poison in me and I will spend the rest of my life fighting it. Starting over somewhere new was the only thing I could think of doing, and I didn’t want to bring that with me, I never meant to tell anyone, but—”

“I’m glad you did,” Camilla interrupted her, voice thick.

Illdi squeezed her eyes shut, cheeks getting wetter. She knew she should go now, but she couldn’t quite tell if her legs would support her.

“I’m glad you told me,” Camilla said again, voice a little clearer, and Illdi waited for the dismissal. “And I’m glad you got out of there when you did.”

There was a hand on hers suddenly and Illdi’s eyes flew open. Camilla had leaned close, eyes wet and face full of sympathy. Before she even realised what was happening Illdi found herself wrapped in an embrace, the picnic basket knocked aside, Camilla murmuring quiet comforts into her hair. She took a shaky, startled breath, then began to sob.

 

* * *

  

It was late in the day when she woke, curled up in an unfamiliar bed, the noise of evening crickets filling her ears. Blinking in the dim candlelight Illdi sat up with a frown and a throbbing head, glancing around the room. Wherever she was it was the second floor of a house – two beds, a table, a door open out onto a balcony… oh.

It flooded back, then, the picnic, telling Camilla the things she never meant to tell anyone despite being so sure it would mean the end of their blossoming friendship, Camilla’s completely unexpected compassion, crying for what seemed like forever onto her shoulder… And then Camilla had helped her up and tucked her into her bed, curled around her and told her to rest.

She wasn’t still here now though, so for a few moments Illdi expected the worst, but then she saw it – a mug of water next to the bed, and a note with her name on it. She picked it up, curious.

   

> _Dearest Illdi._
> 
> _If you’re reading this then you woke when I wasn’t in the room, which I am terribly sorry for, but Lucan wouldn’t let me take the afternoon off. Your head is probably pounding so drink that water! I snuck a few drops of healing potion in there when my terrible brother wasn’t looking – it’s not much but it should help a little more than just plain water would. If you’re feeling up to it you’re welcome to come downstairs, but I’ll understand if not. Take all the time you need. I’ll be back up to see you soon as I can! I left the door open because it was getting stuffy but feel free to close it if you get cold._
> 
> _And Illdi, sweetheart, I promise I think no less of you. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you and can only be so happy you’re free of it. Because you are, of your own will you’re free. It tried to change you and you fought back, and now you’re here, and forging your own destiny, and I couldn’t be more proud._
> 
> _Camilla_

 

By the time Illdi finished the note she was starting to cry again, and just as she went to wipe the tears there were footsteps on the stairs and Camilla was there, wide eyed and rushing towards her.

“No no no, no more tears, Illdi!” She pulled her into another embrace.

Illdi sniffed, then gave a soft laugh. “They’re happy tears, Camilla,” she brandished the note. “Do you have any idea how much this means to me?”

“Only a little, based on what you said, and I remain offended on your behalf that you’ve been so deprived of it.”

She laughed again, carefully folding the note and placing it back on the table so she could hug Camilla back properly. “In barely two days you became the best friend I’ve ever had, and I’ll never forget that. I’ll keep that letter with me the rest of my life.”

“As you should,” Camilla joked. “I’ve had terrible experiences with notes, so I don’t do them for just anyone.”

“If you’re referring to that romantic rivalry debacle, then might I remind you they were not only written by other people but also they were _love_ notes,” Illdi teased back.

Camilla went pink. “Yes. Well. Still. I prefer to communicate face to face. Now drink your water. I’m going to finish closing the store then make us dinner.”

“Oh! I don’t want to impose, I—”

“I’m stopping you right there, Illdi. I’m inviting you to dinner, so you’re not imposing. And Lucan is going to the inn tonight to drink himself silly with his friends, as he does every so often, which means he’ll pass out there or back at one of his friend’s houses, and we can have an evening free of him. I’ve already had your belongings brought here for the night so they’re safe, if you decide to stay the night and avoid the raucousness.”

“… Oh.” This was unexpected, and Illdi wasn’t quite sure how to respond.

Suddenly looking uncertain, Camilla added, “Unless you would prefer to remain at the inn tonight? I’m sure the room is still available, I can ask—“

“No! No need. You just took me by surprise, but… it’s a nice surprise. I would love to spend the night.”

Camilla gave a satisfied nod. “Good. Now drink up, I won’t be long. Dinner is already cooking.”

“Can I help?”

She paused at the top of the stairs a moment. “Hmm, I have everything downstairs under control, but some company while I cook would be nice. Just make sure you lock the balcony door on your way down?”

Illdi nodded, and reached for the cup, then paused. “Camilla?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

The smile Illdi got in return filled the room with light. “You’re welcome.”

 

* * *

 

“That was amazing.” Illdi sighed happily, slumping a little in her seat in satisfaction. “I haven’t had venison stew in _years_.”

“Well, you had better get used to it,” Camilla grinned, collecting up their empty dishes. Illdi moved to help but Camilla immediately waved her off, somehow carrying everything perfectly in her hands and along an inner forearm – Illdi couldn’t help but be impressed, following her friend downstairs both in determination to help wash up and in fascination at the balancing act. “Elk are plenty around here,” Camilla continued, “so just you wait and see, it’ll be on your menu so often you’ll be tired of it in no time!” She paused suddenly in unloading the dishes into the wash bucket, glancing up at Illdi awkwardly. “Not that—I mean, I know you’re not staying _here_ , in Riverwood. But there’s lots of elk down this part of Skyrim, obviously, of course they’re _everywhere_ in Falkreath Hold, is what I mean.”

Illdi sat next to her near the hearth, a soft smile on her lips. “I know what you meant.”

The idea of it, though, of staying in Riverwood, was now at the forefront of her mind, unshakeable as she helped Camilla wash the dishes. She let herself entertain the idea seriously, of hearing the songs of those mountains and the White River every day and finding the words to sing with them, of watching strangers pass through with incredible stories and prizes from all over Tamriel… of more nights like this in the company of this compassionate, beautiful woman.

Falkreath was rapidly losing its appeal.

Then she reached for the last fork as Camilla lifted it from the water and their hands brushed accidentally. It was as if the world around them held its breath; her entire existence narrowed down to the two of them in that moment, a press of fingers somehow both far more innocent than their previous touches and infinitely _more_ intimate at the same time.

Illdi’s heart thudded in her chest, her eyes flicked up to see Camilla looking back at her; those hazel eyes flicked between her eyes, her lips, their hands. Skin slid slowly across skin, fingers twining, and then they were closer, leaning closer in, breaths apart, and—

A loud knock echoed through the building. Both women jumped apart, the fork clattering onto the stone hearth.

Camilla stood quickly, flustered, and turned to the door. “I’m sorry, we’re closed!”

“I know?” came a confused voice. “That’s why I’m here?”

Camilla cursed under her breath and moved to the door, unlocking it but only pulling it open a fraction. The person must have made a move towards the door because she shoved an arm out the door at them and wedged a foot behind it at the same time. “Go home, Faendal.”

Not wanting to be rude, Illdi turned away, picking up the fork to rinse and dry it, but the night was quiet and she could hear every word.

“What? But—Lucan is out, I thought you wanted—”

“Not this time. I have company tonight.”

A shuffle of feet. “Who is it?”

“Absolutely not your business. We talked about this, Faendal, we had an agreement.”

Illdi frowned as she hung the cloth to dry beside the fire. As if realising they could be overheard, the person – Faendal – lowered their voice considerably until only snatches were able to be made out.

“—said but this isn’t—other ways—back out?”

“I’m not backing out!” Camilla hissed. “And you’re being very rude! I said not tonight, so go home!”

There was a huff, and silence, and then a sigh from Camilla, followed by some murmuring Illdi couldn’t make any sense of. Finally there was a soft goodnight on both ends and footsteps heading into the night.

Illdi looked up as Camilla pressed the door shut behind her, leaning on it with a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry about that. Faendal and I…” She shook her head and locked the door, walking over to the small table and sitting down heavily. Illdi stood and took a seat next to her. “You remember that romantic rivalry?”

“That’s the other man involved?” Camilla nodded tiredly. “I… thought you said you were done with both of them.”

“I am, for the most part. Romantically I want nothing to do with them, and they know that, although Sven is blatant in his disregard for that so I have no time for him. But it’s impossible to avoid them when they live in the same village. And Faendal, he’s still a good friend. He accepted it, for the most part – I don’t delude myself into thinking he isn’t still trying, but… he’s helping me out with a possible trade deal. He has some good connections with treasure hunters now, and we’re working on a way to get a trade going there to bump up the business here, planning how to pitch it to Lucan.”

“Which is why he came over tonight, because Lucan isn’t here so you’re free to talk,” Illdi nodded. “That makes sense.”

“Exactly. And I’m not comfortable going to Faendal’s house for it, so… it’s slow planning, not often we get a chance to discuss it.” Camilla gave Illdi a smile and placed a hand on hers. “But it can wait. You’re here, and only for a short time. I want to make the most of the time I have with you.” She bit her lip a moment, then patted Illdi’s hand and withdrew her own. “Now. Would you like something sweet? Some wine maybe?” she asked, a little breathlessly, heading back upstairs.

Illdi followed her. Camilla was rifling around in the cupboard, muttering a little under her breath.

“Camilla, it’s fine, I don’t want any wine.”

The other woman stopped in the middle of stretching for a bottle of wine, relaxing her stance, before turning slowly to look at Illdi where she stood at the top of the staircase.

“What… what do you want, then?”

Illdi opened and closed her mouth a few times as she tried to find the best answer, settling on, “I’d be happy to just retire to bed, or play a game, or read… anything you want, really.” She swallowed. “What do you want?”

“I want you.” Camilla appeared surprised at herself for saying it, cheeks blooming deep pink and eyes going wide, but she kept going. “I’m sorry, I possibly shouldn’t have said that, but I do, I…” She moved towards Illdi hesitantly, chewing her bottom lip. She stopped a scant few feet away, looking up into her eyes. “I don’t know how, or why, but I want you more fiercely than I’ve ever wanted any man. And I think… I _hope_ I’m not wrong in thinking you want me too?”

There was a vulnerability mixed in with Camilla’s confidence that Illdi immediately recognised, and she wondered, idly, how long Camilla had known this part of herself.

“Camilla….” She cupped the woman’s face in her hands, almost reverent.  “You have no idea how right you are,” she whispered, and that growing uncertainty on Camilla’s face disappeared as she pushed up to meet Illdi’s lips with a relieved exhale. Illdi lost herself in the softness of the other woman, that lush mouth and soft skin and gentle touch, her fingers sliding up into that silky hair.

For all her hesitation Camilla wasn’t shy or unskilled, quickly deepening the kiss and pulling herself close with her arms hooked under Illdi’s, gripping her shoulders from behind for balance as she stood on her tiptoes. Unfortunately Illdi wasn’t known for her balance, and she wobbled almost immediately, breaking the kiss with a gasp and a stumble.

Camilla started giggling, steadying her. “Oops! We should probably move this somewhere more stable.” She turned them around, walking Illdi backwards and away from the stairs until she found herself leaning against the edge of the table. “Better,” she grinned and captured Illdi’s mouth again, moving forward between her legs and gripping her hips; Illdi cradled Camilla’s head in her hands again, gentle and happy to let the other woman set the pace.

It occurred to her, somewhere between Camilla guiding Illdi’s hands to her bodice laces and Camilla’s palms slowly rucking up Illdi’s skirts, that they should probably talk about this at least a little; she pulled back from where she had been kissing along Camilla’s collar, stilling her hands a moment. Camilla blinked up at her.

“What is it that you want, tonight? How much? Because I don’t mind, however much or little, and I just want to make sure you know that.”

Camilla flashed her a grin and slid her hands higher up Illdi’s thigh. “If there’s anything I don’t want to do, I promise to tell you.” She pressed her lips to the corner of Illdi’s mouth. “If you promise the same?”

A nod, and then their lips met again, Camilla pushing her breasts into Illdi’s touch. Fingers stroked her teasingly through her clothes and Illdi broke the kiss with a gasp, Camilla taking the opportunity to bite gently down on her lip. Those same teasing hands moved deftly upwards, pulling at the laces of her bodice, and Illdi shifted backward on the table to allow more space when the whole thing tipped and skidded and she fell forward into Camilla’s arms with a shout.

They both stared at the table in alarm.

Camilla started laughing first, pressing her forehead to Illdi’s shoulder as she joined in. “Bed?” she suggested with a snicker.

“Bed.”

They skirted the table hand in hand, and landed on the bed heavily, the frame creaking a little at the sudden weight. Camilla sat astride her, unlacing the rest of her overdress to pull it off, and Illdi watched appreciatively, still barely able to believe her luck.

“I’ve wanted this so much,” Illdi murmured. “From the first moment I saw you. Is it bad to say that? I did, though. That first night I couldn’t help but…” She drifted off mid-sentence as the brown dress was tossed aside; Camilla was left in a pale shift that draped her form perfectly, the white fabric making her golden skin glow in the candlelight, like Illdi was staring up at some statue of Dibella made flesh.

“But what?” Camilla teased, fingers creeping up Illdi’s torso to continue loosening the other woman’s bodice.

“You know.”

“Do I?” she hummed, corner of her mouth quirking. “Maybe you should show me.” She slid a hand into the parted fabric and squeezed a breast gently, flicking a finger across Illdi’s nipple through her shift.

Illdi inhaled sharply. “I could,” she agreed, hooking her fingers under Camilla’s skirt and tickling the soft hairs on her leg.

“Or…” Lip caught between her teeth, Camilla leaned down. “You could demonstrate on me.” Eyes wide Illdi surged up and kissed her, breathing her agreement against Camilla’s lips.

Camilla pulled back and quickly removed Illdi’s overdress, then her own shift and undergarments, and Illdi could only lay there uselessly, staring in up at her in reverence, at her warm skin and the swell of her breasts, her dark nipples and wild curls between her legs. The smell of her was stronger now, too, making Illdi hot from head to toe, desperate to taste. Camilla was nothing like the pale women of the North, and Illdi felt suddenly insecure in her experience.

And perhaps Camilla could tell, because she was kissing her again, slow and gentle and reassuring, thumbs softly stroking the skin beneath Illdi’s ears. “Still okay?” Camilla whispered against her lips.

“Yes,” she whispered back. “Just a little overwhelmed for a moment.”

“If you’re sure?”

Illdi gave her a confident smile. “I’m sure.”

“Alright.” Camilla sat back and pulled Illdi up with her. “Come on then.” Leaving Illdi still dressed in her shift she maneuvered them both until Camilla was facing forward, her back pressed to Illdi’s chest and head tilted back on Illdi’s shoulder. “Show me how you touched yourself that night.”

Illdi hummed in thoughtfully as she adjusted to the position, and realized quickly that her legs framing Camilla’s wasn’t going to work well enough. She carefully hooked her ankles over Camilla’s thighs, spreading them more as she kissed the woman’s cheek. Camilla began to tremble slightly.

“Are you okay?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Camilla breathed, nodding. “Just touch me already?”

“Impatient,” she tsked, but slid her hands up and cupped Camilla’s breasts, then let one hand drift downwards slowly down, over the folds of her stomach and down her side, eliciting a shiver from the woman. Illdi couldn’t look away, watching her paler hand against the tan skin. She let the memory of that night take over, emboldened by the needy way Camilla pressed up into her touch. “I tried not to, at first, you know,” Illdi murmured. “Touch myself over you. It felt a rude thing to do in a guest bed.”

Camilla giggled. “Those beds have almost certainly seen worse.”

Illdi made a face but agreed, heel of her palm sliding firmly along the outer edge of Camilla’s thigh then curving inwards, moving with agonizing slowness back up. “Even so, it wouldn’t have mattered,” she pressed her lips to the line of Camilla’s jaw as a finger moved lightly against the damp curls between her legs. “I was still so wet, bathing had only made it worse. All I could see when I closed my eyes was you, all I could think about was your touch.” She pressed her fingers to Camilla’s folds at the last word, relishing in the sharp inhale and slickness that coated her hand. “All I wanted was _relief_ ,” she slid her middle finger in with ease, a soft moan escaping Camilla’s throat. Illdi pressed kisses down her neck, starting to thrust it slowly a few times then tracing the edge of her entrance, palm rubbing lightly against her clit at the same time.

As she slid another finger alongside the first, Illdi noted, with delight, that Camilla was already beginning to fall apart. She was soaking wet herself, but ignored it.

“You know what’s different this time though?”

Camilla swallowed heavily. “I’m here?” she panted.

“That, yes. But also,” she whispered in Camilla’s ear, her slick fingers trailing out and up inside the woman’s folds, drawing patterns around her clit, “we’re alone in this building. No one that might overhear.”

As Illdi pinched her nipple Camilla let out a low whine. Fingers slipped back inside and moved faster this time, one thumb sliding across slick folds as the other flicked a nipple. Illdi watched as she coaxed the woman to orgasm, the sight of it intensifying the ache between her own legs. Camilla got louder and louder, and then shook apart in her arms with a shaky groan.

They fell back onto the bed still tangled, but it was only a few moments before Camilla was twisting around and capturing Illdi’s mouth. “No fair,” she murmured. “I didn’t get the pleasure of seeing you while you had the pleasure of seeing me.” Her hand found its way under Illdi’s skirt. “Can I return the favor?”

Illdi nodded, letting Camilla remove the rest of her clothing then push her back down, where she settled astride one of her thighs and just spent a minute staring at the naked skin beneath her. “You’re so beautiful,” she sighed, trailing a finger along the curve of a breast. Camilla leaned down to kiss her, wet and deep, as she slipped a hand down to where Illdi ached the most and did things with her fingers that left Illdi gasping frantically, all ability to kiss back gone, Camilla pressing kisses down to her breasts instead, lips and tongue and teeth, working her in strange harmony with the hand below until she came with a jolt and a loud cry.

Camilla kissed her through the aftershocks, twining their hands together where they lay on the small bed. She blinked hazily as the other woman got up briefly to wipe them both down, curling back into her as they slid under the furs.

 

* * *

 

She could hear crickets when she woke, eased awake by Camilla’s mouth peppering her with kisses from where she was perched next to the bed.

“Is it morning?” she asked groggily.

“Not quite. But my brother usually arrives back just after dawn with a fair amount of noise, so I thought you might like to put your shift back on, at least.” She held up the garment in question.

“Oh!” Illdi sat up, alarmed. “Probably best, yes.” She took the shift gratefully, slipping it over her head.

“Also,” Camilla leaned in for another kiss. “Watching the sun rise from the balcony is among the most beautiful sights I’ve ever been fortunate enough to witness, second only to you.”

Flushing red, Illdi huffed a laugh. “I should get properly dressed then, I suppose, if we’re to watch it.”

Camilla flicked her eyes down Illdi’s body regretfully, lingering where she laced up the front. “I suppose. I can’t have you getting sick because I enjoy your body so much.” She slipped off the bed and reached for the blue dress where it lay in a discarded heap on the floor, shaking it out.

Illdi couldn’t help but notice as she slipped on her undergarments that Camilla was still fully naked, and gave her a pointed look when the woman handed over her dress. Camilla just gave her a slow grin and bent over to capture her mouth again, her hands supporting Illdi’s neck as she let her hands roam her body.

They barely managed to separate themselves in time for Camilla to dress, and settled outside curled up in a blanket just as the pinky golden glow of dawn began to light up the mountain. Illdi sighed happily, watching the mist of her breath curl in the cold morning air. The birds began their morning chorus, the whisper of the mountain and song of the river barely audible beneath, and she let herself hum along.

When she realised Camilla was watching her Illdi stopped with an embarrassed smile. “Sorry.”

“No, please don’t apologise. Or stop. That was beautiful.”

Illdi ducked her head shyly. “It was nothing.”

“It was _beautiful_ ,” Camilla insisted. “You’re incredibly talented, and I will fight anyone who ever dares imply otherwise, especially pretentious bards.”

“That’s not—” Illdi started, but Camilla stopped her with a look. “It… Thank you,” she amended awkwardly.

Camilla pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Better. And I take back every bad thing I ever said about bards. A voice like yours should be showcased across all of Tamriel.”

Illdi smiled a little. She had dreamed of that, when she was younger, but now the idea just seemed exhausting. She leaned her head on Camilla’s shoulder silently, watching as a hawk took off from a distant tree and disappeared into the bright distant sky. Camilla brushed her fingers through the short ends of Illdi’s hair where they tickled the nape of her neck, sighing.

“I know it’s selfish of me to ask, but do you have to go?”

A slow smile crept along Illdi’s face, and she shifted a little to meet Camilla’s eyes. “You know, I was thinking about that. And maybe Falkreath doesn’t really have that much going for it after all.”

Camilla lit up almost instantly, pulling her into joyful, breathless kiss. “Really?”

“Really. It’s too soon to give up on it completely, of course, but…” she shrugged. “This little village might just be what I’m looking for.” Biting her lip nervously Illdi glanced down the road, then back at Camilla. “If this little village doesn’t mind, of course. If there’s a place for me here.”

“You’re forging one already,” Camilla said, resting their foreheads together. “And I’ll help you every step of the way.”

Illdi knew it was still uncertain, but this was the first time since leaving Solitude and the College that something felt truly _right._

They sat like that for a while, breathing each other in, hands and legs entwined, until the sound of someone attempting to open the shop door downstairs interrupted them. There was a curse, then a bang on the door. Camilla rolled her eyes and pressed an apology to Illdi’s mouth before turning to yell down, “Come up here, you drunk idiot!” then muttering “Every time,” under her breath.

A few moments later footsteps sounded on the balcony stairs and Lucan turned the corner into view. He blinked down at them for a few moments, frowning, eyes flicking from their faces to their joined hands and back, until he seemed to wake up a little more. “Who is this, then?”

“This is Illdi,” Camilla said, turning to look at her with that sun-bright smile and kissing her fingers. “She’s sticking around.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm working on a tes femslash blog, so come find me on [tumblr](stargalpals.tumblr.com) if u have ideas/requests!


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